The Avengers, Harry Potter and The Good Doctor | Maris Ehlers Photography

I know you have those days.  You can pretend you don't, but I know you do.  We all do.

You think if you step on one more sharp Lego TM piece left in the carpet you'll throw them all out.  And then you feel guilty because you know that soon, all too soon, Legos TM will be a thing of the past, and you will long for the days when you would get up in the middle of the night to comfort a child only to have an errant Lego TM piece pierce your foot and send you howling in silent pain to the floor.  But maybe not today.

*****

This morning I had to take my 8 year old son to the doctor because of an infected finger.  While out hunting for garter snakes this past weekend with a hoe, he got a sliver in his hand from the material that the weeding hoe was made of (Am I a bad mom if I admit to offering a bounty of $1 per snake carcass? If so, too bad!).

He pulled most of it out, with dirt stained hands and fingers, mind you, but yesterday it wasn't looking so good.  A little infected, so we cleaned and soaked it, hoping it wouldn't get worse.

Today he woke up and let's just say it was definitely worse, so off to the doctor we went.

Here are my ten favorite questions from the car ride from the house to the doctor's office:

TEN:  

H:  "Mom.  Would you rather be put in a pit of tarantulas or rattle snakes?  Which do you think would be the most lethal?"

Me:  "Um, that's hard to pick, considering that the idea of even being in a pit of garter snakes would probably cause me to have a heart attack."

H:  "But Mom, you have to pick one."

Me:  "Tarantulas."

H:  "Seriously? Have I taught you nothing?"

NINE: 

H:  "Mom.  If you weren't already married to Dad, who would you rather marry? Thor or Captain America?"

Me:  "Um, well, that's hard to pick.  Thor, maybe?"

H:  "Bad choice.  Thor is the God of Thunder, and so he might have a temper, where Captain America is an all around good guy and he was willing to take a grenade for his comrades. That's the kind of man you want to marry."

Me:  "But Thor is hotter."

H:  "Mom!!"

EIGHT: 

H:  "Mom.  Can I have a machete for my birthday?"

Me: "No."

H:  "You never let me have anything I want."


SEVEN: 

H:  "Mom.  If a stick of dynamite hit a iceberg, what would happen?"

Me:  "Eat your poptart."


SIX: 

H:  "Mom.  What do you think would be worse?  A tornado mixed with a volcano, or an earthquake with a blizzard?"

Me:  "Really.  Can you give me some good choices here?"

H: "That's not the way it works."

FIVE: 

"Mom.  Who would you rather find in a dark alley?  Professor Snape or Malfoy's Dad?"

Me:  "Neither.  Eat your Pop Tart."

FOUR: 

H:  "Mom.  Who do you think would win a fight?  Iron Man or Thor?"

Me: "Didn't they fight each other in The Avengers, and neither won?  Didn't they just beat each other silly?"

H:  "Yeah, that was awesome, wasn't it?"

THREE: 

H:  "Mom.  Why did Loki's arm heal when the Frost Giant grabbed him?"

Me:  "Because he was really a Frost Giant, but he didn't know it at the time."

H:  "Correct."

TWO:  

H:  "If it were your birthday coming up soon, would you rather get the Lego TM Harry Potter Knight Bus or a machete for snake hunting?"

Me:  "Well, the machete is definitely out, so I guess it would be the Knight Bus set by default."

H:  "You're no fun."

ONE:

H:  "Mom.  Will you hold my hand if it hurts when the doctor pokes my finger?"

Me:  "Of course."

H:  "I knew you would."

*****

So the next time I trip on a Lego TM jewel in the dark of night and stifle my cry of pain so as not to wake anyone, I'm going to remember this conversation and smile.  I'm still going to throw the stupid Lego TM piece away, but I'm going to smile fondly while doing it.  ™ and all.

Godspeed, Sweet Hellat - Maris Ehlers Photography

What an emotional couple of days.  It has been simply amazing to see everyone's responses to Zoe and her journey.  To see so much love and support has been truly humbling.  I am so proud of her, and so lucky to know her (and her family).

While it would be such a wonderful thing if every cancer story could have a victorious ending as we know Zoe's will, tonight my heart is also in Moorhead with another beautiful girl, Hellat.  

I met Hellat in August of 2011, and there isn't a sweeter, more gentle loving girl around.  Hellat's parents are from Kurdistan, which is in Northern Iraq.  If you can believe this, she was born here in the United States on September 11th, 2001.  I can only imagine what that experience must have been like for her family. I've learned in life that intense sadness and happiness can exist at the same time, and one doesn't take away from the other.  I would think that the day Hellat was born had fear and sadness for what was unfolding in NYC and around the world, but also unbounding joy in her birth. Such a gift she has been, born at a time when it was and is so important for the world to remember the preciousness of every life, from every corner of the globe. Politics and other beliefs aside.

My sister-in-law, Stephanie, has been one of Hellat's teachers, and I heard for years how much Steph adored this little girl. I felt like I knew her long before I met her. When Hellat was diagnosed with a brain tumor in 2010, I remember how hard it was for Steph to even talk about it.   

Hellat and her family have now gone through so much since then, most of it trying, exhausting and overwhelming. But just like how Zoe's journey has given so much to others, Hellat's has, too.  Steph, of all people, has learned to eat and LOVE all sorts of Kurdish foods while sharing many meals with Hellat and her family this past year.  People from opposites parts of the world have become like family to one another, and that is such a beautiful and wonderful thing. Hellat did that. 

Steph asked if I would photograph Hellat and her family while I was visiting in August.  I was nervous of what it would be like, but what I didn't realize was how difficult it would be to keep smiling while working.  Such a lovely family they are, and their love and care for Hellat was so touching.  Her father, Breen, carried her from room to room, attending to her vigilantly.  Sana, her beautiful and kind mother, was like a gentle breeze with Hellat, touching, rubbing, smiling and loving.  It broke my heart.

The biggest surprise for me was that Hellat, as sick as she was, LOVED having her picture taken, and had a mental list of pictures she wanted.  Her kissing her Dad, her Dad with his arms around her, snuggled with her mother, with her siblings and with her favorite stuffed animals on her pink bed. We did laugh and smile through most of it, and the wisdom in her endless brown eyes said so much more than any language ever could.  

Near the end of our time, her mother had a pink scarf on her head.  Hellat didn't want to wear it because it itched, but she did because her mother wished her to.  Suddenly, Sana kept pulling the front of the scarf over the bottom half of Hellat's face.  At first, Hellat would have none of it, and I wondered what Sana was trying to do.  She would pull it over and then look at me and nod her head, as if to say "Take the picture before she pulls it off!".  Though my attempts to understand were awkward at best, it finally dawned on me, and my hands shook as I lifted my camera. 

I asked Sana, "Would Hellat wear a veil on her wedding day?" 

Sana looked at me solemnly and said "Yes. Yes."  

 It was at that point, perhaps for the first time, that I realized the true power of a photograph. Images stop time, but I had never been asked to create a memory of an event that would never take place. The responsibility of that was enormous, a bit overwhelming, and oh, so very humbling. I am so grateful to have captured this beautiful girl. So although she didn't know me, Hellat and her family gave me a gift that I will treasure forever, to be able to truly understand the importance of documenting a memory, and knowing that it is so much more than capturing a moment.

Tonight, sweet Hellat nears the end of her journey here. Surrounded by people she knows and loves, her family's Kurdish customs as well as their new found American ones, I imagine she is in the same hospital she was born at in 2001, and once again, they find themselves awash with intense grief and fear of the unknown. Yet the joy they have in their hearts from having, knowing and loving Hellat for these short ten and a half years cannot be denied.

Godspeed, Sweet Hellat. May these next hours bring you much peace.  

Maris Ehlers to Speak Locally About Teen Suicide in Buffalo, Minnesota | Maris Ehlers Photography

CNN was nothing.  Preparing to face a room full of teenagers to talk about the loss and recovery after the suicide of a loved one?  Daunting indeed, but must be done.  

Below is the flyer copy for a talk I will be giving at Spirit of Joy Lutheran Church in Buffalo, Minnesota, on February 15th (6:30 p.m.).  Many thank you's to Beth Hane for inviting me.  

If you have lost someone to suicide and are struggling with the reality of it,

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Local photographer Maris Ehlers lost her brother Kirk to suicide in 2003, and it forever changed her life.  Kirk’s story has been seen on CNN’s Anderson Cooper 360 and written about on many websites and blogs, and Maris’ goal is to keep Kirk’s legacy alive by reaching out to others affected by the loss of suicide.  Regardless of the reason.  

Join Maris at Spirit of Joy Lutheran Church on Wednesday, February 15^th, at 6:30 p.m. as she talks about grieving, why youth are at risk, bridging the gap between parents and teens, and what kids NEED to know about their peers. 

Maris will share how her own journey has strengthened her faith in God and her resolve for change. 

“Talking about suicide does not cause them to happen. 

Not talking about it surely does.”

Suicide is never the answer:  If you are feeling hopeless, please call:  1-800-273-TALK

Send a Picture. Help Save a Life. | Are you a Suicide Survivor? | Maris Ehlers Photography

Next week I will be giving a talk at Eastern Connecticut State University to a group of students and faculty members as part of the planned activities for the school's suicide awareness month.  


I will be sharing the story of our brother, Kirk Andrew Murphy. I will be talking about the "Sissy Boy Experiment" at UCLA, Kirk's unwitting role in this "research", how it has shaped our country's perceptions about diversity, and how it affected his life in the most ultimate of ways:  with his death by suicide.


The goal in speaking out is to help people understand that suicide can be prevented and lives can be saved.  


I will not be speaking about suicide awareness and prevention from the perspective of a medical professional.   I will not be talking about the latest treatments or therapies.  There are many people who are immensely qualified in that regard, and I am not one of them.


I will, however, be speaking from the perspective of a suicide survivor, because if there is one thing I have learned on this journey, when you lose someone you love to suicide, you then must learn to survive it.  It is a unique journey of grief.  


Beyond telling Kirk's story, I will also be sharing a message of hope, a challenge to those present.  


I believe we can help prevent suicide.  I believe that together we can save lives.  I believe that while modern medicine can and does do its part, we as a community must do ours.  Every single one of us.


The challenge? To connect instead of isolate. Accept instead of judge. Support instead of condemn. Lift up instead of tread upon.


If you are a suicide survivor in any way - whether you have struggled with the idea of it now or in the past, or if you have lost someone you love to suicide - and you are willing to share a picture of yourself in a collage to be used in this presentation, I would greatly appreciate it.  Pictures may or may not have a first name included (to be determined). 


Please email a picture of yourself to contact@marisehlersphotography.com by Monday, September 12th in order to be considered.  It doesn't have to be pretty, or professional. It just has to be you.  It doesn't matter what you look like.  It only matters that you send it. Please include your first name and how/why you are a suicide survivor.  


Please send a picture to help save a life. 


Thank you. 


Maris


Share the love. Share this post. 

This is the Day. Mark and Jamie's Wedding! | Maris Ehlers Photography

Today is a very special day.  Our cousin Mark marries his best friend and love, Jamie.

I think I speak for everyone in the family when I say "It's about time!"  :)

One of the very first times I met Mark was in July of 1990, at the wedding of my husband's cousin Paula and her groom, Paul.  Ironically enough, the wedding today will be in the very same church as theirs was.

I remember very clearly sitting in my future in-laws car after the wedding waiting for the "adults" to be done visiting before heading to the reception.  It was hot and stuffy out, but a bunch of cousins crammed into the car just to hang out until it was time to leave.  No DVD players, game boys or ipods.  Just goofy cousins happy to be with one another and being as crazy as can be while stuffed in a brown Chevy 4 door something or other on a hot summer day.

For whatever reason, I can still remember "Marky" as he was called then, almost exactly as he was that day.  A toe head, with his hair sticking slightly up, bouncing around the front seat of the car in a yellow plaid shirt and tan pants, chewing blue bubble gum.  All we'd have to do for a laugh was say "Hey, Marky!  Who's your favorite Minnesota Twin?"  And he'd yell at the top of his lungs "KIRRRRBBBBBYYYYYY PUUUUUCCCCKKKKEEETTTTT!" in his best Herb Carneal impression, nearly losing his gum between the gaps in his teeth during the process.

It is incredibly fitting that Jamie is such a Twins fan herself.

My, how time flies.  My kids were asking me if their dad is older than cousin Mark yesterday.  I laughed, and told the H Man that Mark was almost the same age when I met him as H is today.  That made me realize just how fast time really does pass.

It has been a true pleasure to watch Mark (and his siblings) grow into the spectacular people that they are, and yes I'm even getting a little misty eyed just thinking about how today is such a joyful occasion for not just Mark and Jamie, but for everyone who loves them.  And I would be lying if I didn't admit that we're all happy to have a reason to be together and celebrate, too.  Add in the fact that we are capturing their day on film, and it's a great day, indeed!

Hopefully a few sneak peeks will find their way online tonight (depending on how much dancing is actually done!). Tomorrow for SURE!

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24 /ESV

In Memory of Adam Sellheim | Maris Ehlers Photography

When I took this picture on Raymond and Arianne's wedding day, I momentarily forgot that the groomsmen I asked to kiss the bride on the cheek was Arianne's brother, Adam.  We all had a chuckle, and I felt a bit silly.

Last Saturday, Adam drowned in a tragic accident on a lake in Minnesota.  One of 6 drownings that weekend, and his funeral was today.

These things are so hard to understand.  An entire family is heartbroken, and there is not anything that one can do, except to keep them in our thoughts and prayers.

As I pulled some of the pictures from their wedding that had Adam in them this past Monday for the family,  I saw this one and paused.  I am so grateful now that I had that moment of forgetfulness.

Life is short, my friends.  Make every moment count.

In memory:  Adam R. Sellheim, October 14, 1984 - July 31st, 2011

Happy Father's Day To My Dad | Maris Ehlers Photography

"Never explain.  Your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway." 

Elbert Hubbing

When my Dad died at the age of 59, it was only the third funeral I would have attended by then, and certainly the first one I would bear the responsibility of planning.  At the age of 25, I was woefully unprepared.  I hadn’t seen him for three years, mostly because I lived in the Midwest and he lived on the West Coast.  Of course none of his burial wishes or thoughts were known, which was very intimidating.  While no doubt he hadn’t expected to die so suddenly, he wouldn’t have thought about it anyway. Long term planning was really not his style.  The only thing we were really sure of was that burying him in a suit was not the right way to go.  In the end, we buried him in his favorite pair of blue jeans and his beloved Los Angeles Rams jersey.  After all, you are who you are.  Even in death.  

Just a few short hours after learning he had passed away, the hospital in California called.  His driver’s license had said “donor” on it and these were the first decisions to be made.  I remember being completely overwhelmed by the conversation itself, but in the end seeing the blessing that would come of it. 

When we got to California, one of the first mornings there we decided to clean out his personal effects.  I was nervous thinking that there would be so many things to go through, and that it would be so difficult.  It was difficult, but for reasons unexpected.  His personal belongings (other than his extensive tools for his work as a concrete contractor and the usual wallet and paperwork), was a box in his closet.  In it?  A few pictures of us as a family before he and my mother divorced, various pictures of us three kids and his only grandchild at the time Casandra, cards that I had mailed him over the years, a large picture of his father who served under Sergeant York in World War II, and an autographed Rams football.  That was it.  It was like a punch in the gut. 

Why did my dad have so little?  In all honestly, he did his entire life, even during the times when by most standards he had a lot.  


When I die, my children will have much to go through:  momentos, memories, snippets of good days and bad, markers of both momentous occasions and every day life.  Some of it will no doubt make them catch their breath and remember with absolute clarity a moment in time.  Some pieces will have held a private significance to me or to my husband, but will be utterly meaningless to them.  They will look at these things, and not understanding their value, will likely toss them aside, never to know the whole story.  That's how it goes.

Much has been said about my dad in the past week, and on this day, Father’s Day, I will say this:  Many have passed judgement with only knowing a small part of his role in this story, and without a lot of context (Box Turtle Bulletin provided quite a bit, but many people have yet to read it).   And that’s okay.  We don’t have enough time or energy to explain the rest.  More importantly, he doesn’t need us to.  

I loved my Dad.  A lot.  I still do, and my brother feels the same.  We miss all of him, flaws and all.  His gentle smile, his easy laugh, and yes, even his complete inability to dig deep, to tell anyone what he REALLY thought or felt, and we grieve for the guilt and loss he carried his entire life and for what was done to him as well.  

-----
Life rarely exists in straight lines, or in black and white.  The older I get, the more I appreciate the curves and shades of gray that make up the shadows of the unknown.  When we have the rare opportunity to shine a light on those shadows, to dig in the box of momentos, we find the imagery of our minds includes some colors as bright and vibrant today as they were so long ago, and others faded, cracked, and without much context left. 


Happy Father’s Day, Dad.  Thank you for being you.  We now understand you in ways that we never could before, and for that opportunity, we are grateful. 

Mark, Kirk and Casandra the day after Dad's funeral

"SO BE IT". You are who you are. No one should be allowed to force you to change. | Maris Ehlers Photography

When we were interviewed by Anderson Cooper on AC360, at one point he said something along the lines of, "Maris, some people are going to say that you are just a gay rights activist and dismiss you as such."  I had to laugh out loud.  Me, a married mother of two, chasing my own little dreams in my own little world, one picture at a time, one goodnight kiss at a time, considered a gay rights activist.  It was kind of funny in an ironic sort of way.  I am a sister, grieving the loss of my brother, and still reeling over the deception and horror of how he had been used for so many years by a group of self-righteous men who have created an industry full of fallacies, hurt and rejection in his name.  I know my brother Mark feels the same way.

Now, I say, "So be it."

If I am provided more chances to tell our brother's story, to speak of the harm that these men have done, how he was abused by them well after his own death, and more tragically how other children are being harmed based on this "research", TODAY, then  SO. BE. IT. 

I guess I'll figure out how to be the best "married mother of two, marketing wonk, camera slinging, kid carpooling, Christian advocating equal rights for all" that I can figure out how to be.

You are who you are, as God intended you to be.  No one should be allowed to force you to change.

-----

I'll post a video recap later of all of the segments, but someone started a petition online to have George Rekers' stripped of his "professor emeritus" status at UNC.  Fitting, because his entire career was based on the fallacies of his "research" on Kirk.  He didn't cure anybody of anything.  Furthermore, he continued to do so well after he knew that Kirk revealed to the other leading doctor of the study at the age of 18 that he was both gay and had tried to commit suicide the year before.  That was in 1987.  Rekers has still been touting "Kraig" as the successful poster boy for conversion therapy until he was caught with a male escort that he had hired off of rentaboy.com in 2010.  NARTH still does.

Kirk Murphy's Story Part 4 Extended on CNN | Maris Ehlers Photography

Just a quick note.  For those of you who are interested, AC360 on CNN has added a 4th night of "The Sissyboy Experiment".  It is unexpected, but great news!  Even better is that Jim Burroway from Box Turtle Bulletin will be on the show to discuss things in more depth.

Thank you all for your support.  We feel it!


UPDATE:  If you watched CNN last night, you probably thought "Did I miss it?" No, you didn't.  With the breaking news and videos out of Syria, it had to be pushed back.  Understandably so.  They are shooting for early next week (depending on breaking news).

The Legacy of the Pink Dress Kirk Murphy's Story Day 3 | Maris Ehlers Photography

There was some confusion on a picture used in the promos etc. showing a child in a long pink dress.  Some people made the incorrect assumption that it was Kirk in the pink dress (seriously, he would have had a laugh over that one), and sure enough a newspaper in the UK picked up the story and had that picture of him at the top of the article with an inaccurate comment about girls clothing.  Really?  A little fact checking would have been in order here.


Anyway, it was me in the dress.  The reason why the picture was there in the first place was because Kirk GAVE me the dress, and it is one of my most treasured memories.


If you're interested, you can read about the legacy of the pink dress just by clicking this little link.


I still have the dress. It's now in my daughter's closet, ready for playing "dress up" whenever she's big enough to fit in it.  Which, now that I think about it, might be tomorrow.


I hadn't read this eulogy since his funeral until Jim at Box Turtle Bulletin was asking if there were any.  There are two other eulogies that also give you some insight into Kirk's life.  One from his boss Frank, and one from his two very close friends, Debbie and Tim.  They are still hard to read, but even then, in 2003, you can tell that nothing really added up and we didn't know what to do about it.


Regardless of how tragic, dark or sad a situation can be, there is always a silver lining.  Sometimes we REALLY have to be patient and wait for it, but eventually we find it.  Kirk's story is no exception.  Today, we leave you with two that we have found.  


Most people who lose someone to suicide are left with grief, memories and unanswered questions.  We at least now understand more about Kirk, why it was so hard for him to let people get close to him and why he finally, at the age of 38, just gave up.  While it doesn't bring closure, it does bring a sense of peace that we are thankful for.


If Kirk's story changes the way even ONE person thinks about how they treat someone they supposedly love unconditionally, and therefore makes the life of ONE person struggling because they don't "fit" in, then we are humbled beyond belief and this agonizing journey will be worth it.


As we wait for the last segment on AC360 to air tonight, I am reminded of one of my most favorite quotes. 

"Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."

-Winston Churchill

Dear God, let's hope so.  Because this treatment of our children has to stop.  

Kirk Andrew Murphy's Legacy Day 2 Thoughts on Box Turtle Bulletin, CNN et al | Maris Ehlers Photography

I'll be honest.  It's been a crazy ride.  I think our whole lives have been, but I'll stick to the last couple of days for now.  

First of all, we are all so overwhelmed by the support and love to shown to us by family, friends, childhood  mates and yes, even strangers.  Many, many strangers! Totally overwhelming.  

I do want to say that I stayed up until almost 3 a.m. reading every post, comment, tidbit and morsel I could find, on CNN, Box Turtle Bulletin, Twitter, Facebook, Google, Social Mention, and any other site or blog that mentioned it. 

Why?  For proof.  Proof that this moment has really happened, to see in "real" time how Kirk's name, story and life has made so many people stop - if even for a moment - and think about other people around them who may be suffering because they are different... in any way. 

Many of you have voiced your opinions, and we've heard them.  We only ask that each of you who want others to have an open mind and heart keep yours open, too.  Remember this story started decades ago at a time when not much was known about being different.  While some of us may feel that society isn't as accepting today as it should be, think about what it would have been in the 1960's and early 70's.   

  

---

The sad reality is that this therapy still happens today.  Over 40 years later, in a world that should have such a different perspective, in a world that should be able to celebrate diversity, it happens and is often hidden.  It damages children, adults, families, relationships and souls.  It ends lives.  

---

We have no idea what tonight's story brings, but we are ready.  So many talented journalists, bloggers, producers, writers, editors, cameramen, crews and correspondents  have come together to give Kirk a voice, and we are forever humbled and grateful.  

Peace.

The original article about Kirk's Legacy and Our Promises is here.

You can also visit:  CNN.com and Box Turtle Bulletin for more reports and videos. 

The Life and Legacy of Kirk Murphy As Told By Box Turtle Bulletin and CNN | Maris Ehlers Photography

 

Today is a big day.  A very big day, indeed.  


Some of you may know that in 2003, we lost our brother Kirk to suicide while he was living in India.  I don't have to tell you how devastating that was and in fact, still is.  While time does heal to a certain extent, the pain and unanswered questions are always there, and the "what if's" are endless. 


Today, however, is a big day.  It's also a very good day.  It is about legacies and promises.  


His legacy.  Our promises.  


His legacy will no longer be a life lived for someone else's beliefs and ambitions.  His legacy will now be about teaching us to simply love one another as we are, as God made us.  That is our promise to him.  To help spread this message.  

Kirk with brother Mark and niece. 

The first part of his legacy is being fulfilled today.  So indeed, it is a big day.  Today the truth about his life, what he went through, and his silent suffering for so very long will become known.  


His story is a long and complicated one, but if you are interested, here are some links (they are growing and changing by the minute): 

The long form of the story broke on a website called Box Turtle Bulletin late last night.  

Anderson Cooper from CNN is doing a 3 part series beginning tonight on his show AC360.  The show airs at 9:00 p.m. CT.  Here is a link to their first story and video promotion. 

Each of these stories profiles the anti-gay industry (those who profit from “therapy” alleged to “convert” gay individuals to heterosexual orientation) and its victims. 

Kirk is considered a very high profile victim, as for more than three decades, his “conversion” was considered the industry’s documented success story. 

Research conducted by others and only recently brought to our attention reveals that our family was betrayed in profound and deeply painful ways. 

We are humbled and grateful that these two organizations are telling his story, and more importantly that we now have answers to so many questions we have had since we were children.  





This news cycle will last a matter of days.  For those of you who know us we hold dear the support and love you’ve shared with all of us, including Kirk if you knew him, our entire lives.  When the dust settles, we hope that his story helps create change in our country.  That we learn to appreciate others and to celebrate our diversity and recognize that we all deserve the same rights and freedoms.  Regardless.

We ask for your prayers and support as this story is told by CNN and Box Turtle Bulletin with great integrity towards Kirk and our family and interpreted by viewers around the country. 


It is not our desire to have a moment in the spotlight, and reliving moments from our childhood through the eyes of an adult and parent has not been easy, but we are certain that sharing this story fulfills Kirk’s legacy.  His legacy.  Our promises.  

Please share the love, share this story and watch the specials.  


Peace.

In Loving Memory of Kirk Andrew Murphy | Maris Ehlers Photography

"There is always music amongst the trees in the garden, but our hearts must be very quiet to hear it."  ~Minnie Aumonier

In loving memory of our brother, Kirk.  These leaves are from the tree where his ashes are buried.  

Another Memorial Day Post can be found here.   

Delicious Minnesota Fresh Rhubarb Recipe | Maris Ehlers Photography

I'll start this post off by stating the obvious.  I am NOT a food photographer.  I very rarely take pictures of food, but for some reason it seemed interesting to me today.   

Rhubarb Torte is one of the most delicious desserts on the planet.  The only caveat is that you have to really like rhubarb (or not be afraid to try it).  This recipe is my husband's most favorite dessert, and one of the only desserts that he actually eats. 

Fresh Rhubarb Torte sitting on the counter to cool. 

The recipe?  One of the gifts given to me by my mother-in-law at my wedding shower (hint, hint).  It took me several years to get it right.  While I have the recipe perfected, the first one of the year always tastes the best.  

The "before" picture.  

I cheat and make my crust in the cuisinart.  Takes all of about 3 seconds. 

I used rhubarb fresh from our garden.  

Here A cracks an egg.  Turns out it was for photographic value only.  Let's just say I had to start over after she was done.  :) 

Now with the sugar, flour, half and half and egg yolks added to the rhubarb.  Next we'll make the custard. 

As everything melts and starts to blend together.

Checking in on the crust.

Here you can see the custard is pretty much done. 

The test?  When the custard doesn't run off the spoon, but sticks to it and comes off slowly, it's done. 

Here's a peek after pouring the custard over the crust and adding a layer of freshly ground cinnamon. 

The beginnings of the meringue.

Yes, 12 TBSP of sugar for the meringue. 

Here is the meringue after whipping.

I'm so excited.  A took this picture all by herself!  

Smoothing the meringue before it goes in the oven. 

Final few minutes.

My mouth is watering just looking at it.  

If you end up giving this recipe a try, let me know how it went. 

Grace's Rhubarb Torte:

CRUST: 

2 cups flour

1/4 cup sugar

1 cup butter

dash salt

Grease a 9 x 13 glass baking dish.  Cut pieces of butter into flour until you have a coarse meal texture.  

Press gently and evenly into greased baking dish.   Bake at 325 for 20-25 minutes (until slightly brown at edges). 

CUSTARD: 

6 cups rhubarb, chopped 

2 1/2 cups sugar

1/4 cup flour

2/3 cup half and half

6 egg yolks 

Cook over medium heat until thick.  Stir FREQUENTLY and do not allow to stick to bottom of pan. 

Pour over crust. 

Sprinkle cinnamon over custard. 

MERINGUE: 

6 egg whites 

12 TBSP sugar (3/4 cup)

1/2 tsp cream of tartar 

Beat egg whites until foamy.  Add cream of tartar.  As you mix, add sugar TBSP by TBSP until stiff peaks form. 

Pour over custard. 

Bake at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes. 

The "after" picture. 

Shortly after I cut into the torte (and yes, ate a piece) we went for a bike ride.  The H man crashed and has all sorts of bumps and bruises.  We got home, and when I walked in, look what that little stinker had done right before we left?  It's a good thing I'm feeling bad for him - I didn't have the heart to get mad about the smiley face in the meringue!