The Avengers, Harry Potter and The Good Doctor | Maris Ehlers Photography

I know you have those days.  You can pretend you don't, but I know you do.  We all do.

You think if you step on one more sharp Lego TM piece left in the carpet you'll throw them all out.  And then you feel guilty because you know that soon, all too soon, Legos TM will be a thing of the past, and you will long for the days when you would get up in the middle of the night to comfort a child only to have an errant Lego TM piece pierce your foot and send you howling in silent pain to the floor.  But maybe not today.

*****

This morning I had to take my 8 year old son to the doctor because of an infected finger.  While out hunting for garter snakes this past weekend with a hoe, he got a sliver in his hand from the material that the weeding hoe was made of (Am I a bad mom if I admit to offering a bounty of $1 per snake carcass? If so, too bad!).

He pulled most of it out, with dirt stained hands and fingers, mind you, but yesterday it wasn't looking so good.  A little infected, so we cleaned and soaked it, hoping it wouldn't get worse.

Today he woke up and let's just say it was definitely worse, so off to the doctor we went.

Here are my ten favorite questions from the car ride from the house to the doctor's office:

TEN:  

H:  "Mom.  Would you rather be put in a pit of tarantulas or rattle snakes?  Which do you think would be the most lethal?"

Me:  "Um, that's hard to pick, considering that the idea of even being in a pit of garter snakes would probably cause me to have a heart attack."

H:  "But Mom, you have to pick one."

Me:  "Tarantulas."

H:  "Seriously? Have I taught you nothing?"

NINE: 

H:  "Mom.  If you weren't already married to Dad, who would you rather marry? Thor or Captain America?"

Me:  "Um, well, that's hard to pick.  Thor, maybe?"

H:  "Bad choice.  Thor is the God of Thunder, and so he might have a temper, where Captain America is an all around good guy and he was willing to take a grenade for his comrades. That's the kind of man you want to marry."

Me:  "But Thor is hotter."

H:  "Mom!!"

EIGHT: 

H:  "Mom.  Can I have a machete for my birthday?"

Me: "No."

H:  "You never let me have anything I want."


SEVEN: 

H:  "Mom.  If a stick of dynamite hit a iceberg, what would happen?"

Me:  "Eat your poptart."


SIX: 

H:  "Mom.  What do you think would be worse?  A tornado mixed with a volcano, or an earthquake with a blizzard?"

Me:  "Really.  Can you give me some good choices here?"

H: "That's not the way it works."

FIVE: 

"Mom.  Who would you rather find in a dark alley?  Professor Snape or Malfoy's Dad?"

Me:  "Neither.  Eat your Pop Tart."

FOUR: 

H:  "Mom.  Who do you think would win a fight?  Iron Man or Thor?"

Me: "Didn't they fight each other in The Avengers, and neither won?  Didn't they just beat each other silly?"

H:  "Yeah, that was awesome, wasn't it?"

THREE: 

H:  "Mom.  Why did Loki's arm heal when the Frost Giant grabbed him?"

Me:  "Because he was really a Frost Giant, but he didn't know it at the time."

H:  "Correct."

TWO:  

H:  "If it were your birthday coming up soon, would you rather get the Lego TM Harry Potter Knight Bus or a machete for snake hunting?"

Me:  "Well, the machete is definitely out, so I guess it would be the Knight Bus set by default."

H:  "You're no fun."

ONE:

H:  "Mom.  Will you hold my hand if it hurts when the doctor pokes my finger?"

Me:  "Of course."

H:  "I knew you would."

*****

So the next time I trip on a Lego TM jewel in the dark of night and stifle my cry of pain so as not to wake anyone, I'm going to remember this conversation and smile.  I'm still going to throw the stupid Lego TM piece away, but I'm going to smile fondly while doing it.  ™ and all.