Hello, Sweet Hellat | Maris Ehlers Photography

I am so grateful that people take the time to read my blog (when I post, that is).  I am even more grateful that so many of you take a moment out of your busy day to not only read what I post or to look at the images I share, but to post a comment, either here on the blog itself or over on my facebook page. I appreciate every single comment, more than you know. 

In order to be an "audience", you have to make some sort of commitment to the person you are being an audience for.  As a reader of my blog, you have made a commitment to me to be part of my "audience", and I, to you. 

When I post, I always want to capture something of the audience:  your time, your thoughts, your imagination, maybe even your heart. 

When I first wrote about Hellat this spring, I wanted all four.  

Hellat is from Iraq, and is just about the sweetest little girl you will ever meet. She had been diagnosed with a brain tumor, and after much, much treatment, she had been hospitalized yet again and the doctors could do no more.  She was given the range of a few hours to days to live, and those who love her were in agony. 

At that time, in preparation of a painful goodbye, I finally posted the images that I had taken of her months earlier.  I wasn't sure what to say - after all, how do you announce that a beautiful young soul is  going to be taken so early in life?  I titled the post "Godspeed, Sweet Hellat", and so many of you reached out with words of support, encouragement and love for a family most of you had never heard of before. Some even asked that I keep you posted about Hellat. 

I failed to do so, but in all honesty, it was because I really didn't know what to say!  The doctors who gave her those few short hours to live, did so based on the best medical information they had at the time.  Twice. Hellat was hospitalized for over five weeks, and multiple times the belief was that she wouldn't make it through the night.  Her mother, Sona, never left her side, even though she had four other children at home to care for.  Her dedication and stamina would rival that of any of us had it been our child, and the family's inability to give up amazed us all. 

So, I saved my update.  Why? Because I wanted to share with you what I was able to share in a couple of weekends ago, and that was the joy of seeing Hellat again this summer, at her home with her friends and family near by, and having her in front of my camera again, on a much, much happier note! 

Hellat, who could not move much at all when I saw her last, who had to be carried everywhere, proudly stood for her first portraits with me, and it was simply amazing.  

She has captured my imagination, my time, my thoughts, and yes, even my heart.  And perhaps even a miracle or two.  

Hellat with her teacher and my sister-in-law, Stephanie.

So, Godspeed, indeed.  Godspeed on your journey here on Earth, full of miracles, surprises and love.

The Passing of the Royal Crown - A Fairytale in Progress | Maris Ehlers Photography

Once upon a time, there was a darling princess named Zoe. She lived in the kingdom of Canada, until the royal family decided to move their castle to Minnesota. Princess Zoe loved it in Minnesota, but after a few years she started to not feel very well.  After a few weeks of wondering, it was discovered that Zoe had Hodgkin's Lymphoma, a form of cancer that most often strikes children and teens, and the battle began.  

Zoe fought this battle armed with the grace, courage and strength she found inside herself, and wore the support and encouragement from those who loved her like armor: Impenetrable and unfailing. 

She was winning the war, but had one more fierce battle to go. The court jester decided to take some pictures of the Princess to show the world just how beautiful she really was. 

The result was so surprising. People from near and far, people who knew Princess Zoe and those who had never heard of her before showered her with even more love and support than she thought possible, forging her an invisible crown of protection with their kind words and thoughts, and victory was hers.  

-----

Now you might think this is the end of our little fairy tale, but there is now another chapter to be told. During Princess Zoe's battle, the court jester met another lovely family, this time from the village of St. Michael, Minnesota. This family was celebrating a wedding, and there were many princes and princesses that were all a part of this happy day. 

One of these princesses was a lovely girl named Yvonne, who hails from the Kingdom of St. Paul. With dark hair, and chocolate brown eyes, she was the fairest of the fair in her glittery blue dress and silver shoes, and they all danced the day away. 

In June, the week that Princess Zoe received the news that she had won the battle against her cancer, Princess Yvonne received news that she, in fact, would be gearing up to fight the very same battle that Zoe had just won.  

So on a sunny evening not that long ago (ok, last night), Princess Zoe met with Princess Yvonne at the Court of Hanover, so that the court jester could document how Zoe, with care and kindness passed on the invisible crown of protection given to her by so many good wishes, to help Yvonne fight the battle that she has just begun.  

And so, please consider this your royal invitation to follow along on Yvonne's journey and to prepare to celebrate her happy ending yet to come.  

XOXO to both of these beautiful girls! 

Maris 

Godspeed, Sweet Hellat - Maris Ehlers Photography

What an emotional couple of days.  It has been simply amazing to see everyone's responses to Zoe and her journey.  To see so much love and support has been truly humbling.  I am so proud of her, and so lucky to know her (and her family).

While it would be such a wonderful thing if every cancer story could have a victorious ending as we know Zoe's will, tonight my heart is also in Moorhead with another beautiful girl, Hellat.  

I met Hellat in August of 2011, and there isn't a sweeter, more gentle loving girl around.  Hellat's parents are from Kurdistan, which is in Northern Iraq.  If you can believe this, she was born here in the United States on September 11th, 2001.  I can only imagine what that experience must have been like for her family. I've learned in life that intense sadness and happiness can exist at the same time, and one doesn't take away from the other.  I would think that the day Hellat was born had fear and sadness for what was unfolding in NYC and around the world, but also unbounding joy in her birth. Such a gift she has been, born at a time when it was and is so important for the world to remember the preciousness of every life, from every corner of the globe. Politics and other beliefs aside.

My sister-in-law, Stephanie, has been one of Hellat's teachers, and I heard for years how much Steph adored this little girl. I felt like I knew her long before I met her. When Hellat was diagnosed with a brain tumor in 2010, I remember how hard it was for Steph to even talk about it.   

Hellat and her family have now gone through so much since then, most of it trying, exhausting and overwhelming. But just like how Zoe's journey has given so much to others, Hellat's has, too.  Steph, of all people, has learned to eat and LOVE all sorts of Kurdish foods while sharing many meals with Hellat and her family this past year.  People from opposites parts of the world have become like family to one another, and that is such a beautiful and wonderful thing. Hellat did that. 

Steph asked if I would photograph Hellat and her family while I was visiting in August.  I was nervous of what it would be like, but what I didn't realize was how difficult it would be to keep smiling while working.  Such a lovely family they are, and their love and care for Hellat was so touching.  Her father, Breen, carried her from room to room, attending to her vigilantly.  Sana, her beautiful and kind mother, was like a gentle breeze with Hellat, touching, rubbing, smiling and loving.  It broke my heart.

The biggest surprise for me was that Hellat, as sick as she was, LOVED having her picture taken, and had a mental list of pictures she wanted.  Her kissing her Dad, her Dad with his arms around her, snuggled with her mother, with her siblings and with her favorite stuffed animals on her pink bed. We did laugh and smile through most of it, and the wisdom in her endless brown eyes said so much more than any language ever could.  

Near the end of our time, her mother had a pink scarf on her head.  Hellat didn't want to wear it because it itched, but she did because her mother wished her to.  Suddenly, Sana kept pulling the front of the scarf over the bottom half of Hellat's face.  At first, Hellat would have none of it, and I wondered what Sana was trying to do.  She would pull it over and then look at me and nod her head, as if to say "Take the picture before she pulls it off!".  Though my attempts to understand were awkward at best, it finally dawned on me, and my hands shook as I lifted my camera. 

I asked Sana, "Would Hellat wear a veil on her wedding day?" 

Sana looked at me solemnly and said "Yes. Yes."  

 It was at that point, perhaps for the first time, that I realized the true power of a photograph. Images stop time, but I had never been asked to create a memory of an event that would never take place. The responsibility of that was enormous, a bit overwhelming, and oh, so very humbling. I am so grateful to have captured this beautiful girl. So although she didn't know me, Hellat and her family gave me a gift that I will treasure forever, to be able to truly understand the importance of documenting a memory, and knowing that it is so much more than capturing a moment.

Tonight, sweet Hellat nears the end of her journey here. Surrounded by people she knows and loves, her family's Kurdish customs as well as their new found American ones, I imagine she is in the same hospital she was born at in 2001, and once again, they find themselves awash with intense grief and fear of the unknown. Yet the joy they have in their hearts from having, knowing and loving Hellat for these short ten and a half years cannot be denied.

Godspeed, Sweet Hellat. May these next hours bring you much peace.  

Zoe's Story - Hodgkin's Lymphoma | Maris Ehlers Photography

Dress by Mestad's Formal Wear

I don't think I need to start this post off with the "life's not fair" line.  For one reason or another, most of us already know this is true.  

We know that jobs and relationships don't always last forever, and times can get tougher than we might have imagined. Sometimes, when life seems just about perfect, there's a sucker punch up ahead that we won't have seen coming. That's the way life is. 

We look for the good, keep the bad at bay where we can, and let the mundane balance out the rest. And in the end, we realize that flaws and all -  life is pretty good.  

But today as you read this, I want you to think about something. While many 17 year old girls in the middle of their senior year in high school will wake up tomorrow morning with the pressures and joys that they have in their lives, at least one girl here in Minnesota will be preparing for yet another hospital stay, and will be preparing for her third round of chemotherapy. The chemotherapy will bring about days and weeks in which she will not feel well enough to do much of anything.  This third round will be the most challenging and the most intense, but our hope and prayers are that it also brings her cure. 

So just how rough will your Monday morning be?

I first met Zoe when her mother Barb contacted me about photographing her senior portraits this past summer. Zoe is a senior at MGSH, and so we met on a sunny summer afternoon for her session. Angel and I were immediately captivated by her sweet smile and this funny shy little giggle that she has. Those of you who know Zoe know EXACTLY what I am talking about! 

Barb, Zoe and her sister Rachel were all so sweet.  We really enjoyed our afternoon with them, and to say that Zoe is gorgeous is a complete understatement. She really is, and as a photographer, I can't help but appreciate that! 

I watched (mostly through facebook), Zoe enjoy the rest of her summer and start her senior year.  Pictures of her with friends, on outings and at  school events - typical senior year stuff was posted, and as with most of my clients, I enjoyed being able to see little snippets of what she was up to.  All was well. 

And then the sucker punch came. 

Zoe's mom emailed me just after Christmas to tell me that Zoe had been diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma, and wanted to know if they could get some of her senior photos to put on her Caring Bridge site. I was dumbstruck. Sweet, giggly Zoe? How could that be?  

Since then, I have read every guest post and every journal entry on her Caring Bridge site, and have been surprised at times that I have felt so attached to Zoe and her family's struggle, especially since I really only saw Zoe in person a couple of times. 

However, as the person who captured her senior portraits, I have literally spent hours upon hours with Zoe. :) Proofing pictures, editing, posting, editing some more, ordering and printing. Whenever I finish with a client's portraits, I feel like I have a stake in who they are and what they are about. With Zoe it was no different, except that she made it so easy to be utterly charmed by her sweet smile and kind and gentle ways.  

"Sometimes you will never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory.

- Unknown

When it worked out that Zoe was willing to let me photograph her as she is today, in the middle of treatment, I was literally thrilled. Not because I wanted to push Zoe beyond her comfort zone (I imagine she's had more than enough of that of late), but because I wanted to create an opportunity for her to embrace the being that she is today - just as she is right in this moment. While we all can’t wait for this to be over for Zoe, I want to stop time in this moment so it will be here for her later when she is ready to relive it in her memories.  

Dress by Mestad's Formal Wear

What I want for Zoe, whether it be now, tomorrow, in a few days when she feels terrible due to her treatment or many years from now when she is living a happy and full life, that she will be able to look back at this moment and recognize her true strength and beauty, as the rest of us see it. Not just from a memory, but from an actual reflection of herself, in the form of real photographs. 

I imagine that she is learning a lot about herself these days, and I bet that she is constantly surprising herself and her family with her ability to adapt and cope along this journey. 

I am so incredibly proud of Zoe for allowing herself to be, feel and look vulnerable, especially in front of a camera with images that will go near and far. Vulnerability is indeed one of life's greatest gifts, and while it often comes from tragedy, heartbreak or trauma, it is what allows us to reach outside ourselves and connect in meaningful ways with the world around us. Zoe is living that right now, and you can see it in these images. 

There are many more lovely images from our time together that we won't be posting now, because in the weeks to come we will be working on a project that Zoe is helping us with that we hope you all will consider participating in.  

As I mentioned earlier, tomorrow Zoe goes in for her third round of chemotherapy today. Please take a moment and say a prayer or send a kind thought along for Zoe and her family during this difficult time. 

Zoe, thank you so much for trusting me. I hope you can truly feel the love from the people and communities who care for you. 

Hugs, 

Maris 

Special Thanks To: 

Mestads - what a great selection of amazing prom dresses!  They were kind enough to lend us three different and gorgeous gowns for Zoe's shoot…  Thank you! 

Makeup:  Jamie Duncanson

Styling:  Dawn Fryxell of Lucky Girl Jewels and Styling

Assisted by:  Angel Petit of Maris Ehlers Photography 

Maris Ehlers to Speak Locally About Teen Suicide in Buffalo, Minnesota | Maris Ehlers Photography

CNN was nothing.  Preparing to face a room full of teenagers to talk about the loss and recovery after the suicide of a loved one?  Daunting indeed, but must be done.  

Below is the flyer copy for a talk I will be giving at Spirit of Joy Lutheran Church in Buffalo, Minnesota, on February 15th (6:30 p.m.).  Many thank you's to Beth Hane for inviting me.  

If you have lost someone to suicide and are struggling with the reality of it,

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Local photographer Maris Ehlers lost her brother Kirk to suicide in 2003, and it forever changed her life.  Kirk’s story has been seen on CNN’s Anderson Cooper 360 and written about on many websites and blogs, and Maris’ goal is to keep Kirk’s legacy alive by reaching out to others affected by the loss of suicide.  Regardless of the reason.  

Join Maris at Spirit of Joy Lutheran Church on Wednesday, February 15^th, at 6:30 p.m. as she talks about grieving, why youth are at risk, bridging the gap between parents and teens, and what kids NEED to know about their peers. 

Maris will share how her own journey has strengthened her faith in God and her resolve for change. 

“Talking about suicide does not cause them to happen. 

Not talking about it surely does.”

Suicide is never the answer:  If you are feeling hopeless, please call:  1-800-273-TALK

Everyone has a story. Let us tell yours. | Maris Ehlers Photography

Every one has a story.  Let us tell yours.  


Maris Ehlers Photography is currently "looking" for certain people with stories to tell, so if you know anyone who fits an item on the following list, please have them contact us ASAP.   Please also feel free to post this on your page and share with others to help us find the right stories.  




Our photography services would be at no charge, and if they wish to purchase prints, etc., it would be at a 30% discount.  


1.  Engagements - if you are going to pop the question in the near future and would like to have that captured, we are looking for two "couples".  If you are chosen, photographing your proposal would be at no cost. 


2.  Military Family - if you know of a military family who has had a parent serving in Iraq or Afghanistan, with children under the age of 18 at home, please have them contact us.  We are looking to tell a powerful story, and will chose the family based on their story! 


3.  Life stages - we are looking to tell and document the story of an adult parent who has recently had a life-changing health diagnosis.  This parent must have children at home under the age of 18, and be willing to share their journey and story through photographs and words.  Our services for this family / parent would be at no charge, and would include several sessions over time.  

Little Hearts Can Teach Big Things | Maris Ehlers Photography

We want our children to recognize the value of doing good things for others.

Good deeds. Selfless acts. Making a difference. These are things that matter, we say.  These are the things that matter, and so why isn't your homework done, your bed made and your face washed? 

This morning, after a hectic week and weekend, the kids and I were in the middle of the "we're going to be late for the bus" churn.  Mondays are always rough, and this one was no exception. 

I typically have to give my son multiple reminders and sometimes warnings for each and every task that needs to be done before we leave the house.  "Did you brush your teeth?" can sound more like a line from our own family school morning liturgy, repeated in various voice tones at the same time in the process nearly every single day.  

Sometimes I even have to tell him "I cannot listen to what it is that you are trying to tell me until you do what it is that I have asked you to do." This, is seems, is my mantra. 

Today, with my head and arm buried under the couch, trying to reach for an errant shoe (that should have been on his foot), I was repeating my liturgy of the morning.  "Hunter, do you have your backpack ready?  Did you feed the dog?  Where is your coat?"  

He was talking about rocks and dogwood trees and I don't know what else.  I admit it. I wasn't really listening.  I was giving him the obligatory  "Umm hmmm" and the "That's nice.", while my mind raced around the many other things that needed to be done. 

He was talking.  I was wondering how his shoe got this far under the couch in less than twelve hours.  

He was dreaming. I was frustrated. Why can't he just follow directions, do what he's told, and follow the rules? 

Pulling myself up to my hands and knees while picking something else up off the floor, I said "I cannot listen to what it is that you are trying to tell me until you do what it is that I have asked you to do."  

He went to get his coat.  And then the soft echo of the last thing he said permeated my thoughts, just a second later than he said it. 

"Mom, you know my birthday money? That I've been saving for a scooter? I'd like to donate it and give it to someone else. Someone in need."

And in that moment, with a child's shoe in my hand, the frustrated scowl left my face.

I found gratitude. Gratitude that he was not following my directions. My rules.  

Gratitude that he was following his heart.  

AN UPDATE:  A Twitter follower read this post and said he would Match what Hunter donates.  Hunter chose the Hanover Area Foodshelf as the organization he will donate his birthday money to.  So now, we are going to see if anyone else is interested in donating, too!  Will you join us?

WEDNESDAY UPDATE:  Raised so far?  $520!

Share the love. Share this post! 

Seth Godin's Medicine Ball Workshop | Maris Ehlers Photography

Most of you know (because I can't seem to stop talking about it), that I am in New York for a three day seminar with 62 other people.  While that might not be so remarkable in and of itself, what makes is so remarkable is that the seminar is being led by none other than Seth Godin.


If you haven't heard of Seth Godin and you are doing anything to earn a living, you should get to know his work.  He has an incredible mind, and not only does he understand people, marketing, business, technology and the world in general, he believes in making a difference.


It has been humbling to be here, listening to him share himself , his knowledge and stories, but it's been fascinating to be here with people from all over the world and many different walks of life, too.  People from big companies like Google, to people doing their own thing like executive coaching, consulting, people who are educators, entrepreneurs, creators, developers, and everything in between.


At the end of the day yesterday I was complete mush.  My brain was on complete overload, and it felt fantastic.  However, it didn't make for a good night's sleep because so much of what he talked about challenged so much of what I already thought I had figured out.  And it was very unsettling.  In a good way, but unsettling nonetheless.  Seth says that if you want to succeed, you better be prepared to fail.


What? You better care enough to be willing to fail.  Be willing to throw yourself out in front of a bus for what you want to accomplish, achieve, believe.  Now that's drawing a line in the sand, isn't it?


During an exchange with him he pushed me to tell him who it is that my business story is for, and why it is that people come to me when they can go anywhere for photography. That's a daunting question to be asked, especially in front of a crowd, and I think we all know I'm not speechless very often.  


And at the end of the day, while I'd like to think it's because of my art, or my ability as a photographer, that's not entirely true.  It's because I care about documenting lives, and I want to tell your stories, whatever they may be.


Everyone does have a story, and that is my mission as a photographer: To tell stories. It's not to be Shutterfly, a designer, or photograph as many people in Minnesota as is humanly possible.  It is to engage with you, discover your story, and tell it in a way that is both meaningful and priceless to you.


Because as we say, "Everyone has a story.  Let me tell yours."

Hellat's story?  That she is a beautiful, loved and cherished little girl.  That she is more than her diagnosis. That she is perfect.  Just as she is.

Today I am Thankful For... | Maris Ehlers Photography

I've been trying to post about something or someone I am grateful for every day in November.  Today's post would have been too long to be a simple facebook post, so I decided to put it on the blog instead. 


Today I am thankful for Angel Petit.  Who would have thought a year and a half ago when after helping me chase preschoolers around for pictures with their baby chicks (her son went to preschool with my children just because she happened to be there), and then she called the next day and said "You know, if you ever need any help..."


Dozens of shoots, hundreds of cups of coffee, files emailed, pictures edited, plans made, changed, canceled and remade later, here we are.


If it weren't for Angel, her dedication, hard work, kind nature and um, well, simply her ability to handle all of the things that I can't, we wouldn't be joining together to share our exciting news, which is that our new studio will be opening up in just a week or two in the quaint little town of Hanover.


Here is a quick picture of Angel today after we finished two sessions out in the wind and blowing snow.  You are such a good sport, and honestly, THIS wouldn't be happening without YOU. 

You are simply awesome.




P.S.  Angel spent a year watching, learning and helping before ever really picking up a camera on our shoots.  Now she has taken everything she's learned and is creating her own magic.  Here is a recent picture that Angel took at Jack and Claire's wedding.  And truly, I could not be more proud!

Photo Credit:  Angel Petit for Maris Ehlers Photography.  Edit:  Maris Ehlers 

Learning to make Japanese Bento Box Lunches for School | Maris Ehlers Photography

Last night we had a wonderful opportunity.  A good friend of mine, Cynthia, came over with her daughter Alison and their houseguest Reiko, from Japan. 


They are Reiko's host family while she is in Minnesota student teaching with the Bloomington Public Schools (at the high school level). The Amity Institute has sponsored Reiko here for her year of student teaching (high school) with the Bloomington Public Schools.  The Bloomington Sister City Organization is also a partial sponsor of her stay (Alison is a board member representing Bloomington Senior High School).  


We had gotten bento boxes for the kids lunch boxes early this summer from Pottery Barn Kids as a way to hopefully jazz up lunchtime this year and avoid the school hot lunch altogether.  They both do better when there are a variety of little things to munch on for lunch.  More than the average lunch box or cooler, but it includes both a very durable hard plastic bento box and a snug fitting lunch cooler. 

Amelia's bento lunchbox from Pottery Barn Kids.

Amelia and Alison discovered a mutual love of all things Hello Kitty a few weeks ago, and so while their family was preparing for Reiko's arrival we decided a bento box making session was in order.  


We not only had a great time together, we learned a few words in Japanese, and experienced some wonderful food and camaraderie.  The girls came with all of the ingredients and even brought along some special treats for the kids' lunch boxes this next week.  


Oh, and because we were at this awhile, we even had pizza from The River Inn in Historic Hanover to tide us over. 


I hope this inspires a few of you to think outside the lunch box this year.  I know it did me! 

Our dog Ruger REALLY likes Japanese food.  Or thinks he would.
Reiko rolls asparagus and bacon rolls while Alison prepares Japanese rice. 

Here Alison starts showing Amelia about the wonders of Origami.  She was in heaven! 

When the girls were getting started I asked Reiko what she would like to drink, and she said "Pop!"  :) 

Here Amelia is cutting cute little shapes out of boiled carrot slices to top crisp green beans.  This was her favorite. 

When prepared, these were scrumptuous! 

A break for River Inn Bendix pizza

Here Alison and Reiko make beef rolls with fresh vegetables in them.  They had a delicious Japanese sauce over the top.  

Alison is pressing the rice into shaped molds:  there was an elephant, a teddy bear and a fish, among others. 

The beef rolls being sauteed. 

Alison's little boxes with animal shaped toothpick fork thingies that we used to secure the beef rolls. 

Reiko, Amelia and Alison when everything was done before we invited everyone to the table

An adorable origami dog that Reiko and Amelia made

If you are interested in buying bento boxes, there is a wide selection to choose from.  They range from very elegant to stinkin' cute.


Here is a cute Hello Kitty one available through www.amazon.com.