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Thursday, September 2, 2010

Danger: Bright Shiny Object Ahead! | Maris Ehlers Photography

It's no surprise to anyone that knows me that I have the attention span of an ant.  Wait.  That’s not true.  I've seen ants go about their business on a daily basis (thanks to my son's ant farm), and actually, they seem pretty singularly focused and driven.  Ok, bad example.  That's not to say that I can't be "ant-like" in my pursuit of something.  At times I can be very driven (unless it’s manual labor - I must confess, I give up on that pretty quickly).  I can be counted on to get big jobs done, but not without a lot of distractions and miss-steps along the way.  It's who I am.  I try to work on that a lot, but it's really HARD sometimes. 

Another flaw of mine (sometimes a strength) is that I like instant results.  I also tend to appreciate instant reactions, immediate gratification, and very short lines at the bank as well.  Patience is a virtue that I do not possess, unless I accidentally get distracted and forget what I was so impatiently waiting for in the first place (“Ooohh.. bright shiny object.. over there!”).  Under those circumstances, which happen far more than you might think, I can have an ounce or two of patience.  While this can be to my benefit at times, more often than not, not so much.

I’m feeling very impatient today.  I’m waiting.  I’ve been working hard and I’m waiting.  I have been dreaming big. I've been learning a lot. All of this just makes me more impatient.    The results that I am looking for aren't here in front of me, and it's making me crazy.  I want to see them, know they are there, and have reassurance that I’ve been doing the right things.  I want the encouragement, validation and tangible reactions that come with them. 

It took me almost 40 years to admit to myself that in my heart I am an artist.  When I did, my life changed almost instantly.  

Could it be that the results I am looking for now are waiting for me to make the first move?  

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